December 2008
7 posts
Thoughts that high-fived me while watching...
1. Gwyneth Paltrow is a one-woman acting seminar that’d completely embarrass The Learning Annex’s best offering.
2. Ben Affleck can wear the shit out of a leather jacket. If that cow’s insides were anywhere near as delicious as Mr. Affleck made the outsides look, then that particular bovine’s level of sacrifice is rivaled only by Jackward M. Bauer.
3. As recent as 2000, cell phones were...
This year I will regift:
1. Checks made out to me.
2. Framed photos of my family, my ex, me with my ex, etc.
3. Christmas cards. [no amendments allowed]
4. Underwear/socks. [recipients must be co-workers]
5. Gift cards. [to anything without an online presence or location within 500 miles of recipient]
6. Bike parts.
- MD
Facebook dick moves
1. Wall conversations. Imagine driving along the coast of your own private island in the fastest sports car on the planet with a pretty/handsome young thing sitting next to you, all while wearing the most comfortable pair of slacks (the kind that only exist in the best types of dreams). Now imagine the exact opposite: being a young woman in 1985 who’s not able to advance her promising...
Lessons from "It's Halloween, Charlie Brown"
1. Official = notarized.
2. Denominations only separate us.
3. It’s important to have a media presence.
4. “…things I’ve learned never to discuss with other people: religion, politics…”
5. First consider legality.
6. A respectful moral judgement values sincerity.
7. If shot down behind enemy lines in the French countryside, rest on a hay bale.
8. Dog lips...
Dear point-of-view pornography,
1. You suck. Don’t get me wrong, unless Gossip Girl’s gonna be on in a few minutes and I can whack to Blake Lively’s tits, I’d use you in a pinch. But porn should not provide a look at the sex I already have or could have. That’s boring. Give me a glimpse into sex I cannot, for whatever reason, have. Three limits: kids, rape, animals. Otherwise go nuts. At least show...