Dear point-of-view pornography,
1. You suck. Don’t get me wrong, unless Gossip Girl’s gonna be on in a few minutes and I can whack to Blake Lively’s tits, I’d use you in a pinch. But porn should not provide a look at the sex I already have or could have. That’s boring. Give me a glimpse into sex I cannot, for whatever reason, have. Three limits: kids, rape, animals. Otherwise go nuts. At least show me an angle I can’t see when I’m actually fucking (sans mirrors).
2. Your most insulting element is your central conceit. I’ll admit I’m dumb. So dumb that I’ll write about what I jerk off to on Myrealfullname.com. But I’ll never be so dumb that I can trick myself into believing that I’m somehow attached to the disembodied dick at the bottom of that frame, that somehow I’m doing the fucking. Real holes feel way different than my left hand. Maybe you’re just for virgins?
3. Don’t splay that shit out all the time. Sometimes people tighten up and/or squeeze each other during sex and not necessarily in a loving way. Lets have a few scenes where the stars aren’t mid-snowangel.
4. Don’t be the only fresh shit around when I want to download new porn. Be something more. Be Lela Star. Be Faye Valentine’s latest scene. Be Sasha Grey saying something super nasty that I’ve never heard before. Be dat.
- MD
